SMILE Your Way to Success

Deepak Machado 0:00

Hi there, this is Deepak Machado here. Today I had a conversation with Ruqya Khan. What an amazing story she has. I was blown away with her dedication to spreading her message of smile. SMILE. This is her framework that she has developed. And I'm so happy to share this with you and let us right now get into the episode.

Hello and welcome to Success 10 X Podcast. My name is Deepak Machado. I'm a writer and a risk management professional. I'm also a Bitcoin enthusiast. In each episode of this podcast, we bring you an inspiring person or a topic to help you amplify your success, 10 X. I believe, personally that every growth starts with personal growth. So whenever I did changes in my personal growth, other areas of my lives started seeing positive results. So I hope this podcast will create a spark and ignite your desire to achieve higher success. Thank you for spending time with us today and let the journey to success then x begin.

Dalai Lama says: A simple smile...that's the start of opening your heart and being compassionate to others.

In today's episode of success 10 X podcast I'm talking to Ruqya Khan on how to smile your way to success. Ruqya's mission is to share her smile with the world smile is an acronym that we will discuss later. Ruqya started off as a freelance writer and she is a master NLP practitioner. For those who do not know NLP, it is neuro linguistic programming. She's been recognized at various forums for our unwavering spirit of spreading positivity. I'm so happy and delighted to welcome Ruqya Khan to Success 10 X Podcast. Hello Ruqya, how're you doing today?

Ruqya Khan 2:10

I am Awesome. Thank you so much for having me onboard.

Deepak Machado 2:14

You have been a TEDx speaker, you have been felicitated at various international forums, where was the genesis to the Ruqya that is today? Could you share your story with this?

Ruqya Khan 2:24

So So the thing about the Ruqya of today is she likes asking questions. And it's no it's no surprise that she started out as a journalist, she started out with her affair with words when she was really little as a poet and and then go on to be a writer and then a life coach and a speaker. So the Genesis I think would be just in those questions, constantly asking herself the right questions and wondering, okay, what more could it be? I'm sure there's more to life than diapers and dishes was the question I asked, which led to the writing journey. And just having more for myself.

Deepak Machado 3:02

Great. You may have had successes in your life, maybe failures at various points in your life. So I would like to know from you, what would be your definition of success in your professional life? Do you follow it closely? Or do you have a goal that is a success? What what are your thoughts on that?

Ruqya Khan 3:24

Okay, so I love the question. Because when, even in fact, just last evening, I was having a conversation with somebody else around this where, you know, when we speak of goals, we say I'm chasing a goal. Right? That's, that's the best way we usually phrase it. But I see, I would like to walk with my goal, I'd like to run with my goals. Because if you're chasing your goals, it means they're running away from you. Right. And even, for example, if you have to make a goal, you need to run with the ball and run with it, and have that energy and synergy with that with that football with that ball so that you can make a goal. So it's important for you to walk with your goal and understand them, make friends with them, not be afraid of them, and just look at them from a place of curiosity and actually childlike curiosity.

Deepak Machado 4:15

For most of us, including me till a few years back, I mean, I did not believe in personal growth. Why is personal growth important? You've I've seen you talk on various forums about personal growth. Do you have any message to anyone who is skeptical about personal growth? Or is it are for someone who considered a considers it as a buzzword? It has been thrown around so many times these days in the media in the blogging world. So what message do you have for someone who is very much skeptical about their own personal growth? Or is there a Is there a formula that you follow for your own personal growth?

Ruqya Khan 4:56

I have a I have a way of measuring out. There's a need to go for something or not. So I look at price value and cost. So I say, What's the price I need to pay to to get there? What is the value in it for me? And what would it cost me? If I didn't take that next step forward. So you know, a lot of us know that we need to get out of a particular space, we need to grow, we need to do more with our lives. But we aren't doing that because it isn't really costing us too much. It's only when we begin to feel the pain way too much. And life really puts you in a corner and says, Okay, now make a shift is when we actually take some action. But why should it get to that point where you know, you feel overwhelmed, or you're at rock bottom, and only then you will spring back up? You have the ability to take that choice every day for yourself? So why don't you just do that? So understanding? What is the price that I'm paying? What is the value in it for me? And what would it cost me? If I didn't make that shift? These are the three parameters, which which I measured and how a person should really look at personal growth. And understand what how to move forward?

Deepak Machado 6:11

Yeah, good points you made over there Ruqya. Because in my life, as well, I've seen, I have hit rock bottom couple of times in my life, and I lost my job in the past or some relationship problems. So I never had this inclination of you know, why is it happening to me? And I always blame myself Why? Why does it happen to me only in this world, I'd know about other people's problem. But then I somehow realized, because I started reading books, I started reading books on personal growth, I started following certain personalities on social media, then it dawned upon me that, you know, at my call, maybe I had a limiting belief about myself and people who surround me. So from there, I started, you know, developing myself reading more writing more, and I think that affected the rest of the areas of my life. Did you have any similar experiences in your life?

Ruqya Khan 7:10

Yes, very often, I do come across people who like blaming others for the reason why their life is the way it is, in fact, my TEDx talk happened only because I wanted to give out a message to those people who are constant complainers. You know, I wanted to give them a message where it said, shift the focus on yourself, take accountability of your own life. That's why it's called the art of it's called the art of possibility. And the intention there is to let people understand that stop blaming the world for your issues, stop being the victim, look at what is possible. So I say when you are in a stuck situation, you move from feeling stuck to unstuck, using gratitude and acceptance, the most difficult thing to do in life, I'm sure you would agree the park is to come to a place of acceptance, you know, for for the for the things that have gone wrong, as you said, you know, you'd wonder why is this happening to me? So, the thing is, when you're in a strange situation, the question to ask is, what can I do with it? What can I learn from it? Instead of asking, why is this happening to me? Because the more you ask, why is this happening? The universe is going to give you more evidence of why it is happening to you, you know, it's it's kind of like your mind is your Genie. So the questions you ask you the answers you get.

Deepak Machado 8:30

Yeah, yeah. So I also learned that, you know, gratitude is so much important, the more we appreciate what you appreciate, appreciates, this is what I've learned. Can you elaborate from your experience, where you know, you felt grateful for something and things started moving in your life, or some potent? And some examples from your own life? Do you have some instances where you felt the more you were grateful, the more the life gave you.

Ruqya Khan 8:59

So let's just look at the situation that we are in right now. The COVID situation, lockdown, everybody was, you know, quite literally, the world was divided into two types of people, one who were absolutely doomed and did not know what to do. And then there were those who, who reinvented themselves and kind of turned up showed up even stronger. So in when the lockdown happened, I had just completed my baseline hours of coaching, and I use the lockdown hours to actually meet a new person every day and completed more than 600 hours of life coaching one to one. So I used I finished this and record time, I started waking up super early. I have a 6am coaching call slot because I feel like my day begins on purpose. I wake up with excitement. And I'm so grateful that yes, there is somebody on the other side whom I can serve. And the more I began to feel grateful for that the more people showed up, the more speaking opportunities showed up. So one of my goals had been to speak Get 10 new countries by 2022. And I'm sure I've ticked it off because the number of places that I've had a chance to do webinars on in the in these past few months have come from different hosts in different countries. So, thank you very much universe, bring it on. How does it get better than this is the question I keep asking myself.

Deepak Machado 10:22

Absolutely. Most of us don't realize that you know, are not grateful for what we have. I mean, starting from morning till evening, there are hundreds of things happening in our life, which are good, good things, so we have to be grateful. This is what the message is

Ruqya Khan 10:37

Alive. Alive. Isn't. Isn't that a blessing in itself? You got another day to give your life a shot? Isn't that a blessing in itself? So yes,

Deepak Machado 10:46

Your framework called SMILE. I'm excited to note this as well. This is a framework you have developed, could you shed some light? And what inspired you to start this moment as such?

Ruqya Khan 10:58

Okay, so it's to call it a movement Deepak makes me feel like so powerful. Thank you. Yeah. So when, when it when it was born, when the smile strategy was born, was on the tap for the TEDx stage. So I say, gratitude and acceptance help you move forward. And I say acceptance comes when you smile. Right? So have you ever been in that situation where it feels like, Oh, my God, everything is crumbling upon me. And in the middle of all that chaos, if you give a smile to the world, or if you just stand there, instead of panicking if you just smile...What would happen? children tend to do this, you know, they get into this horrible trouble. And then they just stand there giving you a goofy smile. And when that happens, you as the parent are unable to get get angry at them or scold them, or you just wonder, okay, what are they up to? Right? So that's, that's one way of looking at it.

Ruqya Khan 11:55

If you give yourself a whole read a physical smile, even in times of chaos, your mind begins to wander and says, okay, things don't seem like they're right. But she is smiling. But he is smiling. So there must be something good in this situation that I'm not picking up on. And then your mind goes looking for it. Because as I said, it's like a genie. It delivers what you're thinking. Now to break down the smile strategy.

Ruqya Khan 12:23

S stands for silence the mind. Wherein all those questions that you are talking about, why is this happening to me? Am I good enough, all these thoughts that happen? The first alphabet itself is to silence the mind, silence the chatter in your mind.

Ruqya Khan 12:39

M stands for manage your attention. Being consciously aware of where your attention is going, and then doing something about it. Most often, we know that we're thinking negatively, we know that we're panicking, but we don't do anything about it. So what's the point, you don't see a shift in the situation because you haven't put, you haven't changed the pattern. So manage your attention. I stands for identify the intention.

Ruqya Khan 13:13

I stands for identify the intention. And what do I mean when I say intention? It is to understand the core reason of why you're doing what you're doing. So Deepak, you do this podcast and it's amazing. You get amazing guests onboard, and they share their stories and so much of value that you bring to the world. So if I asked you Deepak Why do you do this, you will give me a reason. And then if I asked you further question, Do you own that reason you give me another reason. So the day different different layers to why a person does what they do. So understanding why you're doing what you're doing is so important. Which is often the most difficult because I've presented this across close to seven countries already to different kinds of audiences. And each time people roll their eyes and they say no, no, it's not possible.

Ruqya Khan 14:05

So L stands for let things go. Coming from a place of forgiveness, also letting go of labels, any fears, failures, past experiences that might be holding you back limiting beliefs, let things go.

Ruqya Khan 14:22

And he has obviously the smile is not complete without the E stands for Energize the possibilities, which is putting energy into the possibilities. Because you know, we all have information about what needs to get done. But how often do we put energy consistent, committed energy into it? That's what makes the difference. So that's a smart strategy for you.

Deepak Machado 14:45

Well, it's a great revelation to me. Simple things make big difference. You know, this is not rocket science for anybody to understand, but it is so profound when you get into it and internalize it in your daily life. actions, daily routines. You spoke about your morning routine now. You said you were a morning person. I love it when somebody is a morning person not lazy. What? So do you have any specific morning routine that you that sets you up for the day? Or could you share that with us? Okay, so

Ruqya Khan 15:18

I do get up. And I do make sure that my alarm is not set on my mobile, I've invested in a tiny little alarm clock, because what I realized is when you wake up and pick up your phone to switch it off, it kind of has this magnetic power that pulls you into social media and other things and messages. And then your morning, your morning just goes for a toss, because suppose somebody has sent you a message that that isn't really on a high, high vibration, you know, suddenly, you're just sucked into that. And it just becomes like the spiral that goes on through the entire day. So I give myself some time before I go on to any devices online. I am not a meditation person. But yes, I do. Make sure to have my morning prayers in place. And with that, I give myself some time to sit with myself kind of plan out my day, and then move forward into calls or whatever needs to be addressed in the

Deepak Machado 16:13

Great, like you said, the mobile notifications, they are the biggest enemy of productivity, or even your personal growth, I have disabled everything. So my intention, or my goal is to use my mobile less than 30 minutes a day. So whenever whichever the days I've used, I mean, except the calls, I mean, the screen time, you know the screen time itself, watching social media, whatever it is, I've tried to reduce it to 30 minutes and below that. It's very, very challenging, given the times we live in. You are I mean, I'm not sure how it is designed. It is designed to attract you in such such a way, abuse you I think bushed when you see some notifications or on social media.

Ruqya Khan 16:58

People mean Well, I mean, people mean, well, they, when they send you a warning message and all of that, but somehow it just pulls you in, it takes away from your time for yourself. And I think it's important to acknowledge that you need to give your time to yourself first.

Deepak Machado 17:12

Yes, absolutely. You're right. Look at this decade, the 2020s. I like to call them as roaring 20s. Okay, there are disruptions around us. There are innovations around us and everywhere, and everyone is affected. So what are you most excited for the coming decade?

Ruqya Khan 17:32

What am I most excited about the coming decade, I am excited about my book, I should be having my book by quarter two, I should have my book in my hand by by the second quarter. I am super excited about I am speaking at the global growth happiness summit, which which happens, which is part of the University of peace run by the United Nations. And I'm using your platform as the first time to announce this. Because this was this was literally the cat in the bag. It's a big, big deal for me to be invited and speaking at the University by the United Nations. So this should this would be a big one. I'm pretty excited about that. Thank you. And what else am I excited about? I'm excited about bringing my children home. It's been a very long time. I'm sure they will come home soon. And I'm very excited about that.

Deepak Machado 18:25

Great, great to hear you are you have been selected for this. And I'm so happy for that. May you have all the success. And one more question is, on a personal level is if there is one chain that you would like to see in this world, what would that be?

Ruqya Khan 18:44

kindness. I think kindness is something that I've really been watching for aflame because I see a lot of people bullying themselves most most often, you know, with the kind of content they consume with the kind of questions they ask themselves with the kind of people they engage with, I feel in some way they are bullying themselves. You know, they're beating themselves down for for their losses for their failure. I think that there are already enough people in the world to do that for you. So just learn to be kind to yourself. Give yourself room to breathe. I understand goals are important and and you need to walk with them and do whatever you have to to get there. But also understand that everything comes at its own pace. Yeah, I recently I recently shared a story about an elephant and a dog. Can I share? Yeah, please, please go it.

Ruqya Khan 19:42

So there's this there's a story about an elephant and a dog, you know, their friends and the the dog. They get pregnant at the same time and the dog in a in three months. He has a litter of pups and he's done. And then again, I mean it's 18 months in between that month. Now the the elephant is still pregnant. And the dog has already had three rounds of kids and the dog walks up to the elephant and says, Hey, listen, I've already had three rounds of children while but you just haven't delivered yet. Are you sure you're pregnant? And he says, Yes. She says, Yes. What I am creating is an elephant, it's mighty, it's big. It's huge. When my baby touches the ground, the world feels it, when my baby will cross the road, humans are going to watch in Marvel. So what I'm creating is massive, it will take time has its own journey. And it's different. So yes, the moral of the story is, there will be people who come up with results and have cycles of success, you know, multiple times, and they may come up and talk to you or get sassy with you and ask you questions about you know, I'm so successful. Are you sure you're trying to just hang in there, be kind to yourself, and acknowledge that what you are creating is a masterpiece? Yeah, kind of to yourself.

Deepak Machado 21:05

Yeah. Very, very profound message there. In this short story. Also, I feel the talk we have with ourselves, that is most important part, what we speak with ourselves. A lot of us are including me, I had this negative kind of energy, you know, within me a few years back, but I've overcome that I What message do you have for someone who always feels burden on themselves? Some kind of wait, they're carrying that down? And they're not able to pick up from that? You know, from that ditch? What message do you have for people who think they're burdened with something?

Ruqya Khan 21:43

I'd like to say to smile. And I'm no, I'm not plugging in my smile strategy, but really, you know, just go out for a walk in nature and smile to yourself. Because sometimes, that's what makes a difference that you gave yourself time. A lot of times, we're rushing through the day finishing tasks, finishing things, because it's a to do list. But where where do you come on your own list? When you list out the people that you love in your life? Have you ever acknowledged your own self on that list? You know, when was the last time you did something for yourself? And it just kind of goes back to kindness again, to sign in what you're doing to be mindful of your thoughts. Okay, you would slip up and you would fall but don't call yourself names, and hurt yourself in the process. Be kind to yourself.

Deepak Machado 22:39

Do you have any book recommendations? Or have you read any articles that you were impressed and you kept it as a bookmark, or a book that you regularly returned to?

Ruqya Khan 22:50

I am a big fan of Andrew Matthews. And he writes on happiness. So yes, I'm a big fan of his books. All of them are are fabulous. So yes, that's something that I recommend

Deepak Machado 23:03

Ruqya thank you so much for your time today. I'm I'm delighted to host you on success, the next podcast, where can our listeners follow you or get in touch with you.

Ruqya Khan 23:14

So I've been doing daily videos on my Facebook page, which is our key rights. Also, they're available on the YouTube channel, which is Ruqya Khan. That's where they can reach me. Apart from that if people would like to engage with my work, I'm running a mastermind in coming days. It's a three month program where we are where I am walking people through different elements of success, whether it's mindset, confidence, public speaking. So we're coming up with a three month program, very hands on learning, and they're happy to enroll through that as well.

Deepak Machado 23:50

To the listeners, I would like to say that if you are someone who is struggling with personal growth, confidence I am I must recommend you attend this mastermind by Ruqya Khan. Also keep a watch on her Facebook page as well as YouTube channel, I feel you will gain a lot of confidence. But just by watching these videos because I went through some of our sessions. Yesterday you had I think law of attraction with krithika amazing session you had. For anyone who likes to develop yourself, please follow Rukia Khan on these platforms. Ruqya thank you so much for your time for your knowledge sharing. I'm sure he will find massive success and I wish you all the very best in your endeavors.

Ruqya Khan 24:37

Thank you so much, Deepak for having me on board. I always love a good conversation and this was absolutely enriching. Thank you so much.

Deepak Machado 24:45

Thank you.

How was that conversation? Dear listeners, I'm sure you've gained a lot of value. Ruqya is such a sweet and soft spoken person. If you follow her on LinkedIn, In this is a great example I can give you. She has some good content running over there's one of our talks that she's she's been doing every day it's it's been going on for 1000 days, or 1000 episodes. Phenomenal isn't it?

Our intention is to help you inspire to achieve higher success. Please join me on this journey to success and success 10 x please subscribe to our podcast success 10 X on Apple podcasts and Google podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Please also subscribe to our email newsletter, which is available on success 10 x.co where you will find book recommendations and strategies and great talks from ultra successful people from our community. Thank you so much for your time, my dear friends and keep smiling and activity for the for the day for you is smile at the next person you see. I will leave you with this quote from Dr. Seuss. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. May you be well. May you be happy and may you find success. See you in the next episode.